Conversations
by TatorTotTottish
Summary: A collection of several different excerpts taken from conversations between Judy Hopps and Nick Wilde during their time in the story "Family," "Wilde Wedding," and "Hopps Honeymoon." JudyxNick
1. Hospital

Hospital Conversations

"Hey, Carrots."

"Yeah?"

"Do you think Clawhauser is gay?"

" _What_? Why do you think that?"

"I don't know… he's just so… uh, flamboyant?"

"Oh, well, maybe. I don't know, you can't really tell if someone is gay based on their personality or appearance, Nick."

"I know that… do you think the Chief is gay?"

…

"Looking good in that gown, Rabbit."

"Shut up."

"No, I'm serious. You look like a sexy little marshmallow."

"What?"

"Or maybe a sexy little ghost? I don't know."

…

" _Nick_! Stop throwing pillows at me!"

"That's not me."

"You're the only one in here!"

"Then the place is haunted, duh."

…

"We should have some of this medicine at home, it's good stuff."

"That's called an addiction, Nick."

…

"Stop playing with the controls to your bed. You're going to hurt yourself."

"No, I'm not-Oh! Oh no! Carrots, I dropped the remote for the bed and I'm stuck in an uncomfortable position! Help!"

"Ugh, I told you so."

"Quit saying mean things and come get the remote!"

…

"I'm bored and there's nothing on TV."

"Just relax, Carrots."

"How can I relax when I should be out there making the world a better place?"

…

"I'm kind of craving a Bunny Espresso, we should-"

"No."

"But I-"

"No."

"That's not fair-"

"No."

…

" _I won't give up, no I won't give in_."

"No, no, no. That song died two years ago!"

" _'Til I reach the end and then I'll start again_."

"Carrots, be quiet!"

" _No I won't leave, I wanna try everything_."

"Ugh, stop singing!"

" _I wanna try even though I could fail_."

…

"Nick, wake up! A nurse is going to bring our food soon."

"How dare you call that slop food."

…

"Do you remember when I kicked your butt in Slither at the café?"

"I remember you cheating."

" _Me cheating_? Get real, Carrots."

…

"What are you reading?"

"One of the baby books your mother gave me."

"Pass me one."

"Here."

"Oh, nice! Pictures!"

"Nick, those aren't-"

"Never mind! Take the book back!"

"Ha, they're just pictures, Nick!"

"I'm blind."

…

"I love you, Nick."

"I love me too."

…

"What do you mean you don't want to know the sexes of the babies?"

"I feel like it sucks all the fun out of being pregnant."

"You're not the one who is pregnant!"

…

"Flash said he might come visit us while we're stuck in here."

"That's nice of him. When did he say he would visit?"

"Two days ago."

…

"I'm just saying that you have no real need for a tattoo."

"I do too!"

"Why do you need a tattoo, Nick?"

"To look cool. Why else would I get a tattoo?"

"Why don't you get a tattoo that means something special?"

"Like what?"

"How about a carrot for the nickname you gave me?"

"Never mind, I don't want to get a tattoo."

"You just begged me for a tattoo for an hour!"

"You're the one who killed the idea."

…

"Naturally, the cake would be carrot."

"Our wedding cake is not going to be carrot."

"Oh, it's going to be carrot, you just won't get to have any."

…

"Wait, are we fighting?"

"We aren't fighting, Nick! I'm just tired and frustrated right now!"

"Right, we're fighting."

…

"Nick?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think I'm getting fat?"

"Abort mission!"

…

"What's wrong with you?"

"I'm tired, Carrots."

"Well then stop being tired."

…

"So… did your parents happen to bring any blueberries?"

…

"You know, if I really think about it, you're like an overgrown cat."

"What did you just say to me?"

…

"Ugh, you act like a child, Nick!"

"This is true."

…

"Oh. My. God."

"What?"

"Carrots… did you just sneeze?"

"Yeah, why?"

"That was by far the cutest thing I have ever heard."

"You've heard me sneeze before, Nick."

"Yes, but I've never cared until now!"

…

"If we split up, I would take the kids."

"Technically, my mother would take the kids, so then I get the kids."

"Oh, please! Your mother would take me _and_ the kids."

"So then we become brother and sister."

"Why would you even say that?"

…

"Is it illegal if I steal a nurse's coffee?"

"I don't think so. Why?"

"No reason."

"Nick, what did you do?"

"Okay, before you yell, I was very thirsty."

…

"We aren't paying for the medical bills, are we?"

"No, the Chief said he would handle it."  
"Okay, cool, because I wasn't going to pay for them anyway."

"Then what were you going to do? Run away?"

"No, I was hoping you would pay for them."

…

"You see, Carrots, you are what I like to call 'impulsive.'"

…

"What are you doing, Rabbit?"

"Playing a game on my phone."

"That reminds me, I don't really like your new phone case."

"Well, I think your tie is ugly."

" _You take that back right now_!"

…

"Carrots, can I borrow ten dollars?"

"For what?"

"I don't know, but trust me, I _really_ need it."


	2. Road Trip

**Road Trip Conversations**

"Let's play a game, Carrots."

"Like what?"

"Like 'I Spy.'"

"Okay, go for it."

"I Spy with my little eye… something blue."

"Is it the sky?"

"Dang. Your turn."

"I Spy with my little eye… something red."

"Is it me?"

"What? No."

"Is it blood?"

"That doesn't even make any sense!"

…

"It's just a quick stop."

"No."

"Please?"

"You aren't hungry."

"I have cravings though."

"Nick, _I'm_ the one who has cravings. You don't get that excuse."

…

"Hey!"

"Ow! Nick, why did you just throw that cup at me?"

"You were falling asleep. Don't do that; I get bored when you do."

…

"So now that we have a house, are you going to start mowing the lawn?"

"I'm pregnant and you expect me to mow the lawn."

"Yeah…?"

…

"I just realized something."

"What?"

"If we have kids, we're going to have to write a will to give them everything after we die. I can't do that, Carrots. I want to take all of my belongings to the grave."

"That's not even the worst part."

"What's the worst part?"

"We'll have grandchildren before we die."

"Oh noooooo."

…

"Driving is so much fun."

"You're in the wrong lane, Nick."

…

"What are you looking at?"

"A magazine. Just looking at wedding dresses."

"Ahh, are you looking at the dresses under ten dollars?"

"I'm looking at the ones under ten thousand dollars. That's close enough."

…

"I'll bet you thirty bucks we'll see at least one carrot field in the next five minutes."

"I'm not making that bet, Carrots."

"Why not?"

"All we've seen are carrot fields!"

…

"Nick?"

"Yeah?"

"Am I getting old?"

"Oh! Look at that cloud! It looks like a chair!"

"It looks like you are avoiding my question."

"Carrots, don't be silly! It looks like a chair, just look at it!"

"Okay, yeah, it looks like a chair."

…

"Nick, put your paw back in the car and close the sunroof, please."

…

"Our three year anniversary already passed, right?"

"Nick, you'd better just be quiet."

"…but did it?"

"No, Nick, it didn't! _Ugh_!"

"Right, I knew that… when is it then?"

" _Nick_!"

…

"I'm just saying that maybe you should consider working out a little bit more."

"Are you calling me fat?"

"No, not at all. I'm just saying that you aren't fit."

"I'm going to take that as a compliment, Carrots."

…

"Dang it, Rabbit, stop reading! You're boring me!"

…

"Look a carrot field. Hey, another carrot field. Whoa, see those carrot fields?"

"I get it, Nick, there are a lot of carrot fields."

"You missed three fields in that sentence alone."

…

"Just so you know, Carrots, I fully plan on making your surprise birthday party seem as if I'm cheating on you."

"How long did it take you to come up with that one?"

…

"I said _diet_ carrot soda, Nick."

"It all tastes the same!"

"Go back."

"I'm just going to mix the diet with the regular kind."

…

"Nick, stop taking selfies while driving!"


	3. Labor

**Labor Conversations**

"Hey, Carrots. Fifty bucks that at least three of the kids are going to look just like me."

…

"Nick, grab a trashcan."

"Why?"

"I think I'm going to be sick."

"Gross."

…

"Nick, where did you get that wheelchair from?"

"Oh, I just saw it _wheeling_ around. Ahhh, you get it?"

"Unfortunately."

…

"Hey."

"Hi."

"What's up?"

"Oh, you know, just in labor. You?"

"I'm bored out of my mind, actually."

…

"I'm going to get food from the cafeteria. Want anything?"

"Just a banana, please."

"A banana for Carrots, got it."

"I guess you could say I'm _bananas_ for them."

"Wow."

"That bad?"

"Almost as bad as the food that I know will be down in that cafeteria."

…

"So the Chief just wanted to go and get coffee?"

"Crazy, right?"

"But he called it a mission?"

"Look, Carrots, I don't question the dude; he signs my paychecks."

…

"Nick, wake up!"

"Carrots, it's two in the morning. I'm tired."

"Oh, I'm sorry, I'll just tell the babies to wait until you wake up. After all, I'd love some sleep too, you know."

"I feel like you're trying to say something."

…

"I thought you said that your mother was going to be here soon."

"Oh, she's here. I just told security that she was kidnapping babies. Hopefully, we won't see her until much later."

…

"What's that?"

"Uh… ice cream."

"Nick! You went and got ice cream without me?"

"Noooo, I went and got you ice cream? Yeah, that's what I did. Here, take it before I eat it."

…

"I can't wait until this is all over. The entire situation is really stressing me out."

"I'm sure, Nick."

…

"Just so you know, the entire ZPD precinct is out in the waiting room."

"Oh no, the waiting room must be crazy."

"Nah, it didn't get crazy until your parents showed up with all of your siblings."

…

"Is it normal for the doctor to just come in and violate you in such a calm fashion?"

"Nick, oh my God."

…

"I don't know if I'm ready to be a mom, but I feel like I am, you know? What about you? Are you ready to be a dad?"

"Are you talking to me?"

…

"I can't wait until the kids are old enough to read. I'm going to buy them comic books."

"Nick, comic books are stupid."

"The marriage is off."

…

"Everything hurts."

"Geez, _someone's_ whiny."

"Nick, go get your mother."

"Why?"

"So she can remind me that I love you and that killing you would be a very bad idea."

"I will go get her."

…

"You read the baby books, right?"

"Carrots, I didn't sign up for parenting so that I could read."

"You didn't sign up at all."

"Carrots, I didn't not sign up for parenting so that I could read."

…

"What if some freak accident happens and they give us a kid that isn't ours and we like raise it for years until the kid realizes we aren't the parents and it was all some huge misunderstanding, and then we have to give up our kid that isn't really our kid and it's super emotional?"

"Nick, you've had too much caffeine."

…

"This movie is so stupid– Carrots, why are you crying?"

"It's just so sad!"

"It's an animated movie."

"That doesn't mean that it isn't sad!"

…

"I'm just saying that robots are better than kids."

"Put down the coffee cup, Nick."

…

"Do I have to be a good cook to be a good mother?"

"If that's the case, you've already failed at parenting."

…

"So if we have four kids and then our four kids each have four kids then we will have sixteen grandchildren, and then if each of those sixteen grandchildren have four kids, our family is going to be massive in just three generations."

"Nick, just give me the coffee cup. Now."


	4. Parenting

**Parenting Conversations**

"Alan, how on earth did you get up there? Nick! Alan is on top of the refrigerator and I'm too short to reach him!"

"Get a chair!"

"But I'm lazy!"

"Just get a chair!"

"Ugh, you can just stay up there, Alan."

…

"Did you get the baby bag, Nick?"

"What the hell even is a baby bag?"

…

"I can't carry all four of them at once, Carrots."

"Does it look like I can carry even one of them? I've got the stroller and the baby bag."

"Then what am I supposed to do?"

"I don't know. Teach one of them to walk."

"Wow, why didn't I think of that?"

…

"Where are the kids?"

"In the bath."

"By themselves? Oh my God- _Nick_!"

…

"They're like little stuffed animals, Carrots."

"That's not alarming at all."

…

"Hey, Carrots?"

"I'm busy, what do you need?"

"Alan is on the refrigerator again."

" _Ugh_!"

…

"Finally, just the two of us… Carrots? You did not just fall asleep on me."

…

"Carrots, I can't unlock this baby gate."

"It's just a simple latch, Nick."

"Come help me."

"I guess we know they work now."

…

"Nick, did you eat all of the yogurt bites?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Those are snacks for the babies."

"Did the babies buy them?"

…

"Carrots, Alan is on-"

" _Son of a_ -!"

…

"Did Red just take his first steps or am I hallucinating?"

"That's great, Nick, just go ahead and miss that monumental moment."

"I didn't mean to!"

…

"Why is it that one of them is always screaming?"

"You know, Carrots, it's not too late to drop them off at the fire station."

" _Nick_!"

…

"That's _it_! We are putting a baby gate on top of the refrigerator, Nick!"

…

"Since when does Violet not like carrots?"

"This is a sign, Judy, and you know it."

"She's a rabbit! She loves carrots!"

"Stop forcing your lifestyle on her."

…

"What do kids like to do for their first birthday? Rock wall climbing? Snow boarding? Maybe go take their driver's test?"

"Nick, please tell me you are joking."

…

"Oh!, No, no, that's yucky, Robin."

"Carrots, dear God, please don't ever say the word 'yucky' again."

…

"Why do we have so much more garbage now?"

"Diapers, Nick."

"Ah."

…

"You're doing the cleaning, right, Carrots?"

"You wanna die, right, Nick?"

…

"Just imagine it: you walking Violet down the aisle at her wedding one day?"

"She's not getting married; I forbid it."

"You know, maybe we should get married before we start thinking about Violet's wedding…"

"She isn't getting married!"

…

"Let me just put this bottle in the refrigerator- _Alan_!"


	5. Midnight

Midnight Conversations

"Nick, did you pay the water bill today?"

"…"

"Nick?"

"I'll be right back."

…

"Carrots, I don't think we say 'I love you' to each other as much as we should. We say it, but do we say it enough? I want you to know that I love you, but maybe I'm not telling you enough."

"Are you talking to me?"

…

"Ooooh, look at you being all sexy."

"What?"

"What you're doing, it's sexy."

"I'm eating nachos, Nick."

"Yes, but you're eating them in bed. That's bold _and_ sexy."

…

"I'm just saying, what really is the meaning of life?"

"What did I tell you about having caffeine before bed, Nick?"

…

"I'm absolutely exhausted."

"Sleep."

"That's very helpful; thank you, Nick."

…

"Carrots, I think one of the babies is crying."

"Shhh, it's fine."

…

"Look, I promise this is the last time I'll ask, but seriously, do you think Clawhauser is gay?"

" _No_ , Nick."

"Okay… but, think about it."

…

"All I'm saying is that we have saved the city several times and a couple of movies about us wouldn't be terrible."

"So like, documentaries?"

"No, Carrots, _movies_! Action movies!"

"Movies about a fox and a rabbit? That seems a bit farfetched…"

…

"Carrots, do you think jackrabbits are real? I've never seen one so I can't be sure."

…

"What are you looking at?"

"I'm buying matching pajamas online."

"For the kids?"

"For everyone!"

"Uhhh, no. That is definitely not happening."

"Oh, please Nick, you already know you're going to love them."

"I will actually leave you. Pack my bags and go. You will never see me again."

"No worries, I'll make sure you get your pajamas in the mail."

…

"Okay, so maybe the jackrabbit question was stupid, but do you think bigfoot is real?"

…

"I know this offensive, but would you call yourself an overgrown cat or an orange trash panda?"

"Excuse me?"

…

"Carrots, how tall do you think the kids will get?"

"I don't know. Probably not very tall since neither one of us is tall."

"I'm tall."

"You keep telling yourself that."

…

"Last question, I promise, but if bigfoot were real, do you think he would be a police officer – oh, and a good one at that?"

…

"Nick, what is the toaster doing in our room?"

"It's for emergencies."

"Like what?"

"You know… toasting emergencies…?"

"Take it back to the kitchen."

…

"How many times do you think Chief Bogo has considered firing us?"

"You? Every single day. Me? Never."

"I'm pretty sure he has considered firing you more than me, Nick."

"Give me one example."

"Well, you did spill your coffee on him the other day and I'm pretty sure he even said 'you're fired,' Nick."

"He was joking."

"I don't think you have a job."

"It's fine."

"We have children to feed."

…

"I'm just saying, it's _very_ stereotypical that a small farming town full of rabbits is known for growing carrots."

"What do you want us to grow, pawpsicles?"

"That was a low blow and you know it."

…

"Nick, do you smell that? It's smells like something is burning."

"…"

"Nick – _what are you doing_ –?"

"It was a toasting emergency!"


	6. Recovery

Recovery Conversations

"Nick, I know it's a lot to ask, but could you go and grab me another veggie burger?"

"Another one? That'll be your fourth one today."

"I'm malnourished!"

"Yeah, more like malicious."

"If you can spell 'malicious,' you don't have to go and get the burger."

"…"

"That's what I thought, go get the burger."

…

"Nick?"

"Hmm?"

"You got a new security system, right? Since they never figured out how ours was hacked, you just went and got a new one, right?"

"Uhhh, yeah, I did."

"You have _not_ been in that house with my four children when that security system has been proven to not be entirely safe."

"I get the feeling I'm going to get yelled at no matter what I say here."

…

"Hey, Carrots, do you think they'd let me bring a toaster into your hospital room?"

…

"Do you remember when you let your crazed murderous ex-girlfriend spend that night in the apartment with us?"

"Yes, Carrots, I remember."

"Just thought I'd check."

…

"Bet you can't make that balled up piece of paper into that trashcan from where you're sitting."

"How much are we talking about, Carrots?"

"Twenty dollars?"

"You know I'm just going to take it out of your wallet if I miss, right?"

"I know, I'm just bored, so you might as well try."

…

"You don't have any other crazy ex-girlfriends, do you?"

…

"Ugh, this stupid cast is so heavy. It practically weighs more than me!"

"Mm-hmm, that's nice, Carrots."

"You aren't even listening to me!"

"I'm reading some very good fanfiction so just calm down for a moment, will ya?"

…

"Nick, can I teach you how to crochet?"

…

"Chapter 26: The Cave."

"Carrots, how many times are you going to read Harry Otter to me?"

…

"Wait, wait, did you say Mrs. Boer watched the kids?"

"Yeah, but don't get your hopes up, Carrots, I'm still not completely sure she didn't poison one of the kids."

"We should get her something to say 'thank you!'"

"Did you not just hear what I said?"

…

"Carrots, you gotta see this funny video. Come on, wake up, we all know you're faking it."

…

"I called Chief Bogo 'Mr. Hot Head' at one point."

"I called Valerie 'Val.'"

"Wow, that was a dangerous move."

"Yeah, I don't know if you know, but I'm a little bit of a risk taker."

…

"Nick, have you ever thought about having more kids?"

"What?"

"What?"

…

"Carrots, stop throwing pillows at me!"

"That's not me."

"You're the only one in here!"

"Then the place is haunted."

"Steal my jokes again, Rabbit, and just watch what happens."

…

"Have I ever told you that you're beautiful?"

"Aw, Nick, that's so sweet!"

"I was talking to the nurse."

…

"Chapter 27: The Lightning-Struck Tower."

" _Ugh_!"

…

"Do you remember when you let your crazed murderous ex-girlfriend spend that night in the apartment with us _while_ I was pregnant with your four children?"

"Are you done yet?"

…

"You look good in that gown and cast, Carrots."

"Oh, whatever."

"Sexy little marshmallow-ghost: part two, broken sexy little marshmallow-ghost."

…

"This is a really good cop movie, Nick, I'm impressed with your movie choice."

"I don't know, I think the relationship between those two partners is weird."

"What? They're clearly in love."

"No, that's not it."

"Let me rephrase it: they're clearly sleeping together."

"That's it."

…

"Be honest, what did you think when you picked up the phone and it was me?"

"I thought 'oh, no! She knows I didn't clean the dishes properly!'"

…

"Okay, you're going to kill me… but just one more veggie burger, please?"

"Unbelievable."

"I said 'please!'"


	7. Wedding

Wedding Conversations

"Nick, what color do you think the napkins should be?"

"We have to decide the color of the napkins, too?"

"Champagne or ivory? Oh, or we could do cerulean or currant if we want a little pop of color."

"Could you speak English, please?"

…

"We get a honeymoon, right, Carrots?"

"We have four kids."

"And?"

"That's called a family vacation."

"I think you're going deaf in your old age, I said _honeymoon_!"

…

"Which wine do you want to taste first, Nick?"

"Which one will get me drunk the fastest?"

…

"Taste this."

" _Blah_! Is that carrot cake?"

"Uh, no?"

…

"How many groomsmen do I get at this thing?"

"Oh, you have friends?"

"Now, that was hurtful and you know it."

…

"That wedding dress is a bit revealing, don't you think, Nick?"

"You could walk out wearing nothing but a veil and I would still answer that question with 'no.'"

…

"We can't have all meat on the menu; my entire family is vegetarian."

"They aren't invited then, what part of this is confusing?"

…

"I think the wine glasses are a little too small."

"Carrots, are you kidding? These glasses are massive."

"Look, I'm gonna need a lot of wine if you don't want me to start screaming five minutes into the whole wedding."

"Ah, right. Yes, we'll take the biggest wine glasses you have."

…

"Well, what do you think?"

"I like the red one."

"That's rose, not red; there's a difference, Nick."

"Okay, I think it's time for me to admit that they all look red to me."

"Ugh, Nick!"

…

"Nick, will you come take a look at the seating chart for the wedding?"

"This right here: is this the front of the room or the back?"

"It's the front."

"Why is my mom sitting so close to the front?"

"She's family. You don't want your only family to sit in the front?"

"If I say I want her at this table in the back, is that considered rude?"

"I'm gonna tell her you said that."

" _Don't you_ _dare_."

…

"Here, taste this."

" _Ah_! That's _still_ carrot cake!"

…

"I like this suit."

"It's bright blue, Nick."

"Yeah, and?"

"Absolutely not."

…

"Carrots, remind me why we're doing this whole wedding thing again– _ow_!"

…

"Carrots, what's going on? Why are those two in timeout?"

"Robin and Red thought it would be funny to rip up all of Mommy's wedding magazines."

"Why are they in timeout? We should be celebrating them like soldiers. At ease, boys."

….

"Nick, those bridesmaids' dresses are a little… well, revealing, don't you think?"

"I'm not seeing the problem here."

" _That_ ' _s_ the problem."

…

"The boys look so handsome in their little suits."

"They get their looks from me."

"You keep telling yourself that, Nick."

"They're all foxes!"

…

"I'll have Finnick as my Best Man."

"Wonderful, I'll either have Fru Fru or one of my sisters as my Maid of Honor."

"Uhhh, which sister exactly?"

"Whichever one you find the least attractive."

…

"Nick, you went ahead and hired that photographer, right?"

"…Yeah, I did."

"Okay, because he was certain that we needed to let him know weeks ago so he could plan accordingly, so I'm glad you handled that."

"Yeaaah… me too. Uhm, I gotta make a quick call for work… so, I'll be right back."

"You forgot to hire him."

"I forgot to hire him."

…

"Nick, do you like this design for the invitations or this design?"

"They look exactly the same."

…

"Have you written your vows yet?"

"Carrots, I didn't sign up for this wedding so that I could write."

"You didn't sign up at all."

"Carrots, I didn't not sign up for this wedding so that I could write."

…

"Taste this."

"No, you're trying to poison me with carrot cake."

"Oh, stop being dramatic!"

"Stop trying to kill me!"

…

"I think you'd look good in this dress, Carrots."

"That dress is shorter than some of my t-shirts, Nick."

"I'm not seeing the problem."

"Oh, yeah? Then, how about I wear your suit and you wear that dress?"

"I'm seeing the problem."

"I thought so."

…

"Carrots, am I allowed to make fun of you during my toast?"

"That depends."

"On?"

"Am I allowed to show people the picture of you and Delgato drunkenly kissing each other at your makeshift 'bachelor party' a few years ago?"

"Alright, I am not allowed to make fun of you during my toast. Got it."

…

"Robin! Red! Did you two rip up the new wedding magazines I just got?"

"Oh, no, that was me."

"Wha– _Nick_!"


End file.
